Swooning Over Spike
by SPOTTY
Summary: It's Lilah Delilah. *Sniffs* *Does a little dance* I don't need love! I don't need love! I DON'T NEED LOVE! All you need is... RRF (?!): CHEESE!


Swooning Over Spike  
  
Interview Done By: Lilah Delilah… or me… Katie Louden  
  
Cameraman: Rob-Roy Fingerhead *ROB-ROY FINGERHEAD?!*  
  
Special Appearance By The Slayer Herself  
  
Now it's Spikes turn! Buffy got her share, even though she wasn't really there… read my other Lilah Delilah (Buffy related) story, "Slaying The Slayer With Some Slayer Questions". I know you're only reading this because it's about Spike. Admit it. *Waves finger in face of liar* LIAR! Spike is hot, and you know it! Anyways, read my other Lilah Delilah stories too, which you can find at The Lilah Delilah site, which you can find here: http://lilahdelilah.tripod.com   
  
  
  
Lilah Delilah: Good evening all. Are you wondering why this interview is in the nighttime? *Whispers* I'm going to interview a Mister Spike… uh… Spike… and he is a *looks to left, right, and back at camera* VAMPIRE.  
  
Spike: *Comes out of nowhere* Yeah, that means, uh, be afraid of me.  
  
Lilah: Yes, be VERY afraid.  
  
Spike: *Rolls eyes*  
  
Lilah: I didn't think you would show. I mean, what with you and Buffy in the LAST interview and all…  
  
*CAMERA SHIMMERS*  
  
Spike and Buffy: *Loud "smooch"*  
  
*CAMERA SHIMMERS BACK TO PRESENT*  
  
Lilah: *Sighs*  
  
Spike: Yeah, well, I'm still mad at her.  
  
Lilah: *Rolls eyes* You're in love! What's your problem?! I mean… REALLY?!  
  
Spike: *Confused* Right.  
  
Lilah: *Serious* So Mister Spike, what's your full name?  
  
Spike: Uh… William.  
  
Lilah: *Waits*  
  
Spike: *Looks around*  
  
Lilah: So where did the name Spike come from?  
  
Spike: I…  
  
Lilah: And don't say your Mother!  
  
Spike: *Shakes head, confused* I enjoy torturing people with railroad spikes. Well, I used to. But I think I still got it in me…  
  
Lilah: *Eyes get big* Oh.  
  
Spike: *Nods*  
  
Lilah: *Whispers to camera* I don't think I like Mister Spike's personality half as much as I like his face.  
  
Spike: *Looks over Lilah's shoulder* I heard you luv…  
  
Lilah: *Gets angry, remembering her 1st interview with The Monkees* DON'T CALL ME LOVE! OR "LUV"!  
  
Spike: *Shrugs* Fine.  
  
Lilah: *Grins* *Serious* Have you ever wished that Dawn would just go away?  
  
Spike: *Avoids the questions by kicking at the grass* *Mumbles*  
  
Rob-Roy Fingerhead (?!): Hey, did you ever see that commercial where the guy is talking to his boss or something and starts talking and calling his boss, "Dumbass", but really his name is said, "Doomos", or something, and…  
  
Lilah: So now you're back to remembering those silly commercials? *Gasps, going back to what he said* You said… that… word! *Gasps* You know, this is supposed to be one of those lower channels that bleeps out every single curse word you could think of!  
  
Spike: Well, who gives a damn?  
  
Lilah: *Gasps* *Quickly gets serious* So Mister Spike *quickly* why did you and Enya get together when you knew you shouldn't have?  
  
Spike: *Shrugs*  
  
Lilah: Good answer. Good answer. *Nods* So, Mister Spike, you live in that tomb thing-a-ma-jigger. Now, how do you pay the bills in there? I mean, you don't have a job. You don't do anything BUT watch TV. You've got a fridge. Where's the dough from?  
  
Spike: Well, *flabbergasted*, it… I just don't know! Nobody ever bothers me about so, what the hell?  
  
Lilah: *Closes eyes*  
  
Rob-Roy Fingerhead (?!): *Whispers* I think she's getting ready to… Hey, have you seen that commercial on Nickelodeon where the cow has a dream that everyone is out of milk, and the cow is the only one still… milk-full. So they get milk from her and the kids go, "Thank you Bessie *echoes*" and…  
  
Lilah: I'm FINE! Oh, the horror. *Dramatically* I've never felt this way before!  
  
Spike: Can I go now?  
  
Lilah: NO! There is still much to be asked. What do you see yourself as in about, uh, a few weeks?  
  
Spike: Huh?  
  
Lilah: Well, ya know… *nudges* are you going to become a vampire again, die, or get a soul? Or, uh, end the show with a bad bang?  
  
Spike: I'm going to become a vampire and become what I was before, The Best.  
  
Lilah: *Squints* *Nods* Uh-huh.  
  
Spike: *Thinks* Well, maybe not.  
  
Lilah: But you can't tell us till the show is over we know…  
  
Spike: Actually I…  
  
Lilah: *Places finger on lips* Enough. No time for talk. *Swoons*  
  
Spike: *Catches Lilah* Uh… I… *Drops Lilah*… I don't be nice anymore.  
  
*Buffy happens to run past the crowd*  
  
Spike: *Picks Lilah up quickly* I'm a nice guy. I love being nice. I'll, uh, help you up now. Uh… there.  
  
Lilah: *Shakes head* I'm OK everybody! *Assures* I'm OK!  
  
Rob-Roy Fingerhead (?!): I already knew you were and do you…  
  
Lilah and Spike: No!  
  
Spike: Uh, I think I'm going to, uh, not run after Buffy. Uh, I think I'll, uh… go back *points in all directions* there. *Dashes into his "house"*  
  
Lilah: *Smiles at camera* He's in love with me.  
  
*Spike casually slips behind a bush and crawls towards Buffy, who is fighting*  
  
Lilah: I can see us now. *In a daze*  
  
*Spike kills the vampire and kisses Buffy in background*  
  
Lilah: Racetrack is forever away. *Informs* He's a newsies from 1899 ya know.  
  
*CAMERA SHIMMERS*  
  
Spot: Whaddaya want?  
  
Lilah: You Spot. I want your stories. *Extends arms out and points to Racetrack* I want… your friends. *Winks*  
  
Racetrack: *Looks away with a puzzled expression on his face*  
  
*CAMERA SHIMMER BACK TO PRESENT*  
  
Lilah: *Glances over and sees Buffy and Spike* *Sighs* That tears it. Cut it Rob. There's no more. I am awaying myself. I cannot love. Love is *sniffs* not my *sniffs* thing. *Walks off "set"*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Is Lilah Delilah really GONE?! Keep checking in and you shall see!!!!!!! 


End file.
